Grief is NOT like Speed Dating

This week at our new GriefShare group I was reminded how slow and not so steady the grief journey is. There are times that someone is hurting so much that I want to shorten or ease the pain of losing a loved one, even though I know personally how important it is for each of us to go through the process of grieving on our own time table. That time table is always much longer than we want it to be.

But there is hope. As we go through the process of grief, we have the awesome opportunity to grow closer in our relationship with God, to learn more about ourselves than we ever knew before, and to develop friendships on a deeper level. And somewhere along the journey, we will have the chance to help someone who is hurting the way we were at the beginning of our journey.

No, we don't spend a limited amount of time at each stage of grief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance and Hope, and they show up in no particular order. Everyone spends a different amount of time at every stage, many times experiencing more than one "stage" at a time. But unlike speed dating, we really can come out enriched and with deeper relationships as we move along on this journey of grief.

Take heart. The initial intensity of grief doesn't last forever. Also, as we move along in the journey, the instances of sadness become less frequent and do not last as long as the last time. Isaiah 40:31 assures us that "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."